Resentment: Is it worth it?

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People will treat you maliciously and wonder why you hate them. They will drag you down and wonder why you won't face them. When it comes to your dreams they try to stop them. But when it comes to your failures.........

People remember and often judge you for your wrong in the past. They say move forward but won't let it go. It's their security blanket. Now if you go back (even slightly) they smother you with it.

And all you can do is think: What's changed? Why are my failures so big and accomplishments so imaginary? What is my purpose in life? To be someone's joke or possibly their antidote to tell others how they should not be?

The thoughts fester. Thorns in the crown the persecutors placed on your head. They beat you then leave you for dead.

The ones who were supposed to be there are gone. Unaware of the struggle you're having to hold on. Then they wonder why don't you smile, unknowingly being the reason. They are the ones who betrayed you. A hundred Judases and only onr you. They've denied your right to live life and now you resent the people you call your family and your friends.

This resentment runs deeper than the love. Has more views in your memories than the happier times that used to be. Your head filtered out the content of days spent loving the ones you now resent. Your heart is a shadow. A shallow opening who's opening is bruised by stab wombs repeatedly.

In the midst of crying ask yourself if this is who you want to be? Is harboring resentment any better than what they remember about you?

My answer is no. I choose to let go. I choose to start over again. The person who I was is not me and is far from the person I want to be. And I know it's a never ending cycle of ups and downs but I'll still survive....to my last breath.....with blood on my hands......scars on my heart.....I will yet stand.

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