When I was in highschool, I didn't want a boyfriend
because then, a "healthy relationship" meant I had to send pictures I didn't want to send.
I had to let someone touch me in ways I did not want to be touched.
I had to lose myself just to gain some sort of social upgrade.
It was gross and unjust.
But, I'm so glad that, in highschool, I knew what a real heathy relationship was.
I knew that because I had a mother and father who knew it too.
They showed me what people in healthy relationships do.
They said, "GOOD MORNING"
not because it was the right thing to say
but because mornings were always good together.
They sent a text during the day to see what the other was doing
not because they didn't trust each other
but because they were genuinely interested in each other's lives.
At dinner, my father saw the look on my mother's face and asked if something was wrong
not because he simply saw her face
but because he cared enough to notice.
At night, they said, "GOODNIGHT"
not because they had a good night
but because they believe that no matter how bad their days were
the night was still good as long as they were lying next to each other.
They never forgot to say I LOVE YOU
because if you forget to say I love you, eventually you'll start to forget about love.
I realized in highschool that the guy asking me to come over was never going to say
"Good morning because I'm with you"
or "What are you doing because you're day is important too"
or "Goodnight because I had a bad day but you are still next to me"
and when he said "I love you," it just didn't sound the same as when my father said it to my mother
because he was leaving the love out.
I said no to that boy
Because I knew what a healthy relationship was.
But, when I looked around it seemed like I was the only one.
I had a friend with a single mother who thought in order for someone to love her she needed to shut up and kiss me.
I knew a boy who thought that saying I love you was a one way ticket to the bedroom.
I saw a girl tell her friend to go along with it because that's what her mother does.
I found that were so many people who couldn't see what a healthy relationship was.
So, I told them how to check.
I said healthy relationships show R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
R- real relationships aren't perfect
E- expect nothing in return
S- see the future
P- protect each other without isolating each other
E- even when you're mad, you still show that youre in love
C- care enough to ask
T- trust is everything
How often do you see R.E.S.P.E.C.T. in high school relationships?
I would say it's rare.
What is a healthy relationship?
A healthy relationship shows R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
And, if you think you're in a healthy relationship, when is the last time that you checked?