Restless Nights

Your words.

Your words wash over my body like the ocean I am afraid of. The night sky that darkens my view. Your words bring me restless nights of tossing and turning until my mind becomes to heavey for heart and I fall deeply asleep in the bed that you made for me.

I promise myself I will run, but I have never been fast enough. I have never been strong enough. I will never be able to dodge the trucks of lies that you try to hit me with as I sprint to the freedom of the other side of the road. Like a scared deer, I return to the side I origanlly came from out of fear of what is to come next.

Your words have been written in the love letters that you send. With the black and blue ink that you write them in. Your fists, your pen. My body, your paper. My bruises, your story.

I promise God that the lies will stop. I ask God for the lies to stop. God, why won't the lies stop. 

Your words.

My promise. 

Your lies.

My restless nights.