Restrain

I try to restrain my tears from all this shit. From the pain, from the games And all the lies you've fed me. I'm done with not doing my best to keep my inner self peace; I'm done not doing it for me. I was lost and confused; Oblivious to the fact that you weren't really there for me, Just there for the image of doing something good for me You ruined so much, You defiled me as a person And now you have the last laugh And the last smile. So what am I to wear? What am I to do? Should I just stand back? And feel like I'm the one who couldn't do what you wanted me to do. Do I wait, like my naive self has been continuing to do? I no longer even stand within the peripheral vision of your vision. So why the fuck do I continue to stay? I had the plan, The loop, And I knew best- But I melted with the words you used to woo me. I was a dreamer, but you were the beginner. You were to lead me, Lead us in the right direction But you betrayed me. I had nowhere to go because you were all I knew, And you got off track, And left me to fend for myself. So now, your guilt is the only thing that stands in our friendship, While my love is put on hold I must admit though, I was indiscreet about my decisions And quit clueless about the signs that you left on the ground for me to catch. I stand now, convened all my thoughts and your actions, And came to a realization that shit happens And it's time for me to take a break, Rewind and then set myself straight.