Reverse

Sincerely, the rejuvenated people.

This is a letter to self.

This is the bulldozer for self-hate and poor reflection.

The trust that I’ve let flow in the river of uncertainty.

The blind eye I turned towards every sign of discernment and the open hand I relinquished to every corner of deception.

The new leaf I was scared to turn over, fearful of the same face staring at me.

I lost myself.

My goals and aspirations got lost behind the smiles of others while God stood on standby.

Because of you, I now question every word I utter and every action’s purpose.

I thought I found myself in the double zero I ate late for. Went searching for myself in the size one that I cried for you. And at 3/5 long, I still wear my binoculars.

I stopped watching TV to gain the self-worth that was stripped from me by the radio.

In this life there is no pause and rewind so I carry on this journey on a path that hasn’t been paved.

I drown myself in work, aiming to please you and leave no room for myself.

Crushing the hearts I’ve stepped on to get there.

Lost and alone trying to remember how I got here.

Left to ask, what happened to myself and who did I give permission to make me feel any less.

Changing my image each year hoping I’ll finally recognize the figure in the mirror.

I can’t hide behind the needs, wants, and fears of other people. So I have to let you go.

Dear alter ego,