Ridiculously, Rightfully, Reluctant

Rejection.

I fear it. 

But not the regular "I think we're better off friends" kind.

More like the "why would you ever think it could be you" kind.

Where their response

is such a thick mixture between disappointment & dissatisfaction

at the thought of being with you,

that you forget the characteristics that made you fall for them in the first place.

I fear the kind of rejection,

that hurts the other person more than you, 

because they can't mentally comprehend the thought of you two together

in a way that's not platonic.

Where the idea of being intimate with you,

has never once crossed their mind, 

because they don't even notice that your soul is their aesthetic.

I fear the kind of rejection that makes you speechless.

The kind where

they repeatedly emphasize words like  "fam, homie, friend" 

as they wound your pride.

Where the mere thought of you

in a way that doesnt have to do with friendship is so foreign to them

that you can't help but cringe, 

because it's what helps you fall asleep at night.

I fear rejection, slightly.