Rise Up

I’m afraid of a lot of things.

I’m afraid of the dark, I’m afraid of the thoughts in my head, 

I’m 16 and I’m still afraid of the monsters under my bed.

I’m afraid of dying alone. I’m afraid of leaving this world with no accomplishments to call my own, I’m afraid of only ever speaking about the things I’m shown. 

Always losing track, a setback of a human being, defined only by the habits of a practiced insomniac. 

Speaking of losing, I’m afraid of losing it all. My confidence cleaved by my self respect, mauled by the fear of taking that fall. To fight the fight, and reach the top of a ladder that’s 2 feet tall. 

I’m afraid of when the cashier at the Shell gas station on hammond says “here’s your change Sir.” I’m afraid of having to tell people what I am, because that fear comes fast. It comes often, and until the day I can buy my broke ass some hormones, it’s here to last. 

Yet like the words of Marshall Mathers, and Tom Petty before him, I won't back down, no matter how much my future is dim.

I’ve seen the stats, my chances are slim, and some days, it seems easier to sink rather than swim. 

But I will Rise up. I will face the fear with both hands in the air and my eyes up, wise up, size up, polarize and empathize up because someday we all have to individualize up. 

Yeah, I’m afraid. I’m afraid everyday.  But if I let fear win, it’ll just be another day I did not

RISE UP.