Road To Realization.

Last night I dreamt about you. 

You were here, in my bedroom, holding my hand. 

You pressed my fragile head against your chest as I started to cry. 

"I'm here.." 

You whispered into my ear. 
It spilt out of people's mouths all the time.
It always sounded better when you said it. 

My exasperated sobs turned me into a heap of shuddering skin and bones. 

They ran out eventually, as they always do when you comfort me.

I melt into you.
Forcing myself against you.
Wanting to be one with you, 
Spiritually, Physically, Mentally.

I take in your scent.. 
God, I missed your scent of the ocean mixed with your body spray.. 

"I'll never leave you.."

You reassure me. 
You always reassured my paranoid mind.

You held me tighter and pressed me into your warmth. 

My apologetic tears dried onto your skin..

"Be happy," 

You whispered so softly, barely audible.
You sounded so distant..

I wanted to protest.

I wanted to tell you that you were wrong.

I wanted to tell you that I needed you.

I wanted to let go of every thought that has been pulsing through my veins between my heart and brain, brooding in my body..

But I don't. 

Because when I look up, 

I'm staring into a mirror.