"Rock Bottom"

I’m so numb. I’m so dumb. Am I the only one who feels like this? I’m so young. How can it end like this? It’s so much turmoil. It’s so much destruction. It’s so confusing. It’s so much chaos. I don’t know what I’m feeling. I aint felt in a while. I was so high then it all came crashing down. There is no one around but the noise in my mind. They are telling me that I will always stay down. They are agreeing with me telling me: “yeah, you’re a loser. You will never come around”. I disappointed myself and everyone around me. They couldn’t handle the monster that I was becoming. It was consuming me to a point where I didn’t know my own identity. I looked in the mirror and it was no longer me. Even my reflection ran away from me. I’m left here empty. I wasn’t just using it but it was using me. it was telling me I was untouchable. I could do anything. It was beating me and defeating me. Taking away all of my dignity. it promised me so many things but it delivered me nothing. I always had hopes and dreams but this has always had me. I want to be set free. Free from my past and free from my reality. I’m always thinking that this won’t last and I’ll get passed this. I end up failing each and every time but I swear this is my last time until the day I die.