roses. // 1.30.18

dear lover,

there are pieces of myself that simply belong to you. when you leave, you take, & you fill me up with lies in exchange for what you drained of me. this is the best way manipulative men will get me to stay. 

 

my boots stepped delicately down the hallway of your apartment building, almost as if a fire wasn't burning in the inside of my chest. i had always thought to never present harm to those i loved.  i left echoes that filled that building. i knew you were listening to my footsteps as i left, lavishing in the sweet sound of my presence leaving yours.

 

my shoulders were low, my chest was heavy & my head was burdened with visions of my clenched fists colliding against your chest, forcing every ounce of rage that my body contained directly into your torso until i felt weak & hopeless enough to sink my body into yours with a thousand apologies slipping from my mouth. 

 

i plead to you-- please keep me. love is too complex for simplicity. i am possessed with the beauty of a single rose. i am neither the flower nor the thorns, but rather the strength & patience it takes to seed from the bud to grow among the barrel of a beautiful dozen. a women who can pick herself up from rock bottom with out batting an eye is far more terrifying than any of the murderous looks a cowardly man could give after asking me to leave for the last time. 

 

-j.h

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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