Ruining My Reflection

when i face my own reflection the mirror shows a distressed version of myself. 

the one that misses the pain and suffering of my past. 

the smile i give to myself can only be seen when i’m on the verge of tears. 

my own reflection is covered in scars and burns

and in attempt to heal my wounds the person in the mirror creates more. 

every bandaid i place they rip a previous one off. 

my reflection thinks i’m trying to cover up the pain when i just want to heal it. 

the bandaids on the floor are soaked in blood. 

sticky residue is all that is left of my healing. 

the evidence that i tried and failed. 

everytime i tell myself im okay an old wound reopens. 

does the blood mean im lying to myself? 

or am i just writing this to put the pain on paper. 

the blood on paper. 

the bandaids on paper.