Running Away.

I made it through today.
I stood up for myself
And got honest with someone
But my heart got broken as well.
My best friend lectured me
because I was throwing a friendship away
Because I wasn't "benefitting" from it anymore.

I got hurt today.
The one person who was always supposed to be there.
Made it sound like I use people.
I may be harsh, but I don't use people.
I use objects and love people.

Or so I thought I did.
Now I dwell in the inner most corner
Of the shell inside.
I don't miss the sunlight
or the constant people
no, not anymore.
I now forget there's anyone
Beyoned the outer door.

I had so many stories I could tell
But I'm told to stay quiet
And to not smile.
Because I do everything wrong
So I'm not allowed to have a sense of humor
When something amuses me.

I'm barely human anymore.
I try to shut off my feelings
And just be numb.
But even trying for that
i'm too dumb.

I wanted to see a crimson waterfall
But I made him hide all the blades.
The canvas is still blank
And I'm still in pain
But maybe it'll pass
Or I"ll dance in the rain.

They all ask if I'm okay
And I'm not.
They asked a question
And a lie is what they got.
Now I run away to be unconscious
Just to start again tomorrow.