Running Out Of time

So that clock start ticking once I opened up, I see why my family members always said to close em up, I admit it felt good and a bunch of stuff, but it wasn't worth what that doctor told me in a couple of months. My mama sat there mouth wide open, i'm sitting there too like got damn losin' focus, she said she can prolong my destiny but that shit was hopeless, so I told her fuck it. My mama sat there eyes red and puffy as fuck, she looked at me angry but really didn't say much. Only thing I thought about was on that bed I laid, now looking at the doctor's diagnosis of aids, i'm thinking got damn what a mistake I made, now my clock ticking and that's the price I paid. The doctor tried to make everything better, she was like my rainbow and shit but it was stormy weather, I walked up and out the office because I didn't want me and my mama to cry together. When my mama decided to open the door I heard them talking, saying "ma'm I don't know how long she has to live but by next year she will be barely walking." My mama came out and knocked the shit out of me, I guess I deserved that because nobody defended me. She said "girl what the fuck you think you was doin', i'm thinking you doing your school work but you out here screwin'. Now i'm crying my eyes out counting down your days, mama can't do nothing to save you girl I can't even tell you it's going to be okay, I promise you though I'll pray for more time, but if I could give you a second life I would give you mine, thinking about your life ticking just hurts me inside, to know that your dumb ass mistake cost you more than ya mind, but i'll get you whatever treatment i'll pay every dime. Just know that mama gone cry every night and i'ma have to beat yo ass but I can't because I wanna spend every moment huggin' you so tight, just stay with me as long as you can baby fight it girl fight," So every time I see my mama I just want to apologize, for every thing I put her through and tell the truth about all my lies. Instead i said "i'm so sorry if i could take it back I could, I should have listened when yall told me sex wasn't all that good. Look what it got me now, a hurt mama all this drama and I still don't know how. but I'm going to repay you mama before I finally go, and make sure my final words is I love you yanno. And for every dollar spent and every dime, i'll be looking over you and tell you i'm fine but I shouldn't have broke the glass that made me run out of time."