Running Scared Down Defeatist Street

Running scared down Defeatist Street,

Trying to go back in time.

Retreating isn’t security,

Especially since I out grew mine.

I wish I could be me again,

Feeling free to run and wonder.

Feeling safe under innocence,

Back when I was younger.

When every step was forward

And every motion careless.

Not unsettling and shaky,

There were no fault line weigh shifts.

Stepping over cracks

Wrought in my foundation.

Not ready for the real thing,

A failure in preparation.

To carve my own path,

Burning in the spotlight.

An audience at attention

Putting me to flight.

In the crosshairs of criticism,

It wasn’t always like this.

I was never under eyes

During my adolescence.

My personality liberated,

No anxiety to stomach.

There’s an internal freedom

In the absence of judgement.

I want those years back

To be rambunctious and daring.

Not self-conscious and watching,

Wary of what I’m doing.

I’m longing for the chance

To give it another go.

Because innocence is bliss

And my holy ghost.