Running to Success
“Go back to Mexico you dirty wetback”
The words are like acid on my skin
I walk through the gate
I enter the school
No one ever tells you what to do when you feel unsafe in school
I feel the grotesque body of shame climb its way up my throat
It unhinges my jaw
Frees my hidden sobs
Stinging tears decorate my face like raindrops on a car window
And I have never felt so scared
I run to the bathroom
Knees pulled to my chest like armor
I look at my skin
Its tanned hue is like a slap in the face
A reminder of the truth I tried so hard to deny
A truth I never thought would hurt me
In the midst of my anguish, I feel a comfort
I am alone
But the broken whispers of my ancestors are like hands against my back
Pushing me forward
Running through my veins
I hear the echoey words meant just for me
“You are strong”
I stand up
I take each step with a growing understanding
What it means to be the first chance born in a family of sacrifice
It's because of this that my steps turn to leaps
I run unfazed
Looking at the golden light of success on the horizon
Like melted gold, it swallows my attention whole
I am running to success
Some days the pain and suffering of my ancestors are too much
Written on my skin like warpaint
Some days I wish their pain would heal from my body like bruises
Fading with time
But other times I relish in this burden
For it drives me forward full force
Every tired smile
Every overworked bloody hand
Every tear-stained kiss
Pushes me forward
And I am running to success
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