To Ryan

I don't want you to look at me like that ever
I don't want to be looked at like a broken doll
Limbs askew, tears pouring, with cracks in the porcelin
I don't want to be looked at like a stick of lit dynamite
The flame getting closer to the powder, ready to explode or implode whichever comes first
I don't want to be looked at like a caution sign
With the words big and glowing and the pointing and whispering
I don't want to be looked at like a beast
An animal with no control watch your step, watch your breath, not too close, not too close 
Most hurtful, most shameful though 
I don't want to see fear in your eyes when you look at me 
Fear that I'm unstable 
because I'm fighting the monsters 
I'm fighting them for me
I'm fighting them for us and I'll never let them hurt you