Sabotaging my heart

My heart is small It's little, a speck I swear if I didn't know better It was gone so I check, It seems to be there Time and time again, But reality comes back And the love was pretend I knew that it was a lie That it was just a facade, I cry out and wonder I look up and question god, Why dit's love hurt my heart And soar to mighty heights Just for it to crash and burn I don't understand how that is right Then my heart explodes The pieces fly in ever direction I need to put them back together Then get a guard for its protection. My heart is now lower than low I swear it's going to stay down Until I forget about the pain And something exciting comes around I choose to take a chance And let myself fall in love I forget about the heart break My heart starts to rise above But as everything is going grand And my heart is higher than the sky MY brain it starts to think so smart I forget how the last time it almost died Then the doubt starts rushing in I start to overthink So I start to play pretend I subconsciously set myself up So my happiness comes to an end