Sacrifices

I hate that smell,

the smelly smell that I know too well,

from a toddler embraced in love,

from every hug,

I smell that smell

that smell that I know too well,

Putrid as an adolescent

I hate the smell ,

I hate the presence,

I know she’s around,

telling lies for me to fetch

but they can’t be found,

following me around i can’t rid

clothes always smelling like a lit cig,

symbolizing fear cause i know i'll wake up

one day

and she won't be here,

how i hate her sometimes,

she talks how she misses her own

cause she died from a wound she sowed,

but she's sewing her own,

and will also leave me lonely when

she’s dead and gone.

Mommy,

I know you hate that smell,

I know i’m not being selfish,

I wish that it could stop

but I know you can't help it.

I know you wish it wasn’t here,

but you seem to have no fear,

like you really don't care,

Ma.

I know we both hated that smell,

now I wish it was here,

bringing tears to my eyes,

if i had to i’d smell it a million more times,

If it meant that you were

close by.