Safe Again

why is that I can't just walk the halls and feel safe again? is it really that hard to get over someone? 

it's been a year. I was happy and you keep taking that away from me. it's unfair to you and it's unfair to me

Why can't we work this out? Why can't we go our separate ways? 

I understand you were hurt and maybe you think that I deserve your wrath but I don't. You were the one who made me suffer in our relationship.

 I was okay with something I knew I shouldn't be okay either. You did things to me that I will never forget because it has burned inside my head for so long. 

It is burned into my sin forever. To the point where I hate the places, you would touch. That will live with me forever.

So why should I be torture for trying to help you when you needed help? I didn't tell anyone your secrets but yet you still told anyone who would listen to you about my problems that you swore you'd never let anyone know. so why try to destroy me again? 

you took almost everything from me. and you’re still trying to till this day. 

so why are you still obsessed with me? why make things more dramatic for yourself?

 I will never understand why you did what you did, but what I do understand is that you are hurt and you were in pain. That still doesn't excuse you from your behavior after we ended things. 

Why did you change? What happened to the sweet boy I fell in love with? Was he killed by all the darkness? Did the darkness take over? Will we ever see that sweet, innocent, and caring boy again?

“He changed because of you,” they said. “You destroyed the boy he used to be,” they said. 

I didn't do anything but love you and make sure you were happy even if I was destroying myself during the process, but your darkness was too strong for me. It was overwhelming I couldn't defeat it.

 And I don't think anyone will ever see that sweet boy again, cause no one would think he could come back. So when the sweet boy finally comes back there will be no one left to see that boy again. 

So I give you one last piece of advice, from one lover to another. Don't let yourself be held back from finding love again. Just because we didn't work out, doesn't mean you won't find love again.

 Be strong and have faith. If I can get over what you did to me. Then you can get over a little heartbreak.