Sanctuary

My room is a sanctum

a box,

a shelf of un-read stories,

The walls are blue,

light

dirty window curtains, 

a computer with two monitors

the death of me,

heart rate,

speakers,

soundwaves never cease to come out of them

24/7

UMI, Saba, Frank Ocean

Remember Me, Papaya, Self Control

There's a record player more ancient than myself 

Dusty, 

Coco Butter Vaseline on my Shelf

I am 18. 

And these are not the only walls I have been sanctified to,

but here I have found the most praise,

and here I have felt the most lonely

Contradiction

not the only confusing thing that lives within these blue walls,

Emotional,

Constantly,

Everything has become routinely,

Here I channel my inner chorus,

The way I repeat my days here

Shirts hung up on my door

They yell 808, Hawaii

guess that's why I'm like this,

posted with a Heartbreak

I stay posted within these blue walls

Dark when I turn the lights off

Like my closet,

Old stuffed animals,

Old worn out clothes that no longer fit me

Skeletons, No door,

Anyone can see them when they walk in

So I get scared of letting people in,

Because my room is a box

A mess

A dream catcher

An oasis

A sanctum

And one day I will need to let people in.