Saturday Morning

Muscles twitch bewitch limbs while eyes flit To bland blinds barely restraining the fresh day That beckons me to death. Thought-wrestling a few rounds, I try to disappear In the damp, confused bed sheets where I’ve bled out All my sanity and smiles. I’m rocking, nerves shocking, my reason mocking, Alone, The taunting circus colors of my dorm Heighten the roiling phantom nausea. Knees smack on my grimy tile floor. A bleach stained purple towel vaguely cushioning-- As if I noticed--as if the physical held any substance. Tangible: tamable. Invisible: imagined. Fear: imprinted. My chest spasms, my body Willing to forfeit organs veins bones in exchange for relief. But shhh shhh, Your mind should splinter in secret; No one has a happy ending to your ugly scene. Eyes tight, fetally folded, inhaling the mildew And muck of the restroom’s corners. The looming door swings away with a cooling swish, And my best friend swoops down to reach me bruised and stiff. Her delicately bitten nails scratch my arms to pull me back, Back to balance with her voice spilling with balm. She lays a freeze pop across my spine The bathroom air freshener burns my throat. But I embrace such pain: Practical and direct.