The Sauce of Insanity

     One evening recovering from a cracked pelvis,

I was listening to music that wasn't from Elvis.

     My mon's caregiver told me that she'd been thinking,

For dinner I would like some potatoes and chicken.

     She brought me my dinner leaving out something that mattered;

the sauce was Dave's Insanity and man it was slathered!

     I had my susspicions seeing the bottle in the kitchen,

but I was a seasoned hot saucer and my hide had thickened.

    I took my first bite, no foul no harm,

And slowly my insides were starting to warm.

     I knew what was coming but bravely pushed on,

when the number four appeared on my chest and  heard a loud "Flame ON!"

     I started to fidget and began to perspire,

Gozilla was inside breathing atomc fire.

     It didn't take long and I certainly had no doubt,

something evil was going to come out of me, from down south.

     So I rushed to the bathroom and the porcelain bowl,

before all hell broke loose from the South Pole.

    But this cloud did have a lining and it was made out of silk,

All I needed to do was get my hands on some milk.

     So after taking care of business, I grabbed a glass,

and swallowed the white liquid that would let the fire pass.

      It passed and I survived but one thing I know,

my first word as a baby must have been, "Tabasco!"