The Scared Lover

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 05:05 -- Kyxster

She cries when no one is watching

She acts like everything is okay

She lets you think that she is strong 

When deep down inside she's nothing but torn

 

She keeps her distance

She let's you think what you want

She's nothing but innocent

But her innocence was lost in a moment.

 

A moment that you may not know about

A moment where no one heard her screams or shouts

A moment that she hides deep inside her

The moment that brought her here... a place where she does nothing but hide

 

She loved you once, twice, and three times now

But she will never do anything about it

She'll take the blame and not mention a name

But her family will pay for it

 

It's the thirteenth floor that she sits on

Going over and over all the things that happen

She refuses to let this bring her down

But her own life she wishes she had taken

 

She wrestles with herself and puts on a fake smile

People think she's okay but it's been a mask all the while

And when she walks away from it all

She wonders what exactly she is fighting for

 

Trust is something that's hard for her to comprehend

It's something she would recommend

She hides herself away instead

And fools everyone with the happy expressions on her head

 

In the middle of the night 

She curls into a ball and wonders why she went through all of this

The pain

The blood

The mental reconstruction

The fear

She knows there is more to life but the strife seems to outweigh the good in her life

 

She depends on one singular person

Someone who shares in her hurts

Someone that thinks the way that she does

Someone who understands what it's like to be taken advantage of

But they don't know what's it's like to have it repeatedly done to you

To think that is a regular everyday process

 

Your mind will never be like the others around you

Those who wake up after the dew

Those who think they know you

Those people with their first world problems

When you sit back and watch them be too lazy to solve them

 

You sit and cry because you'd rather die than have to live with this pain

You can't hold it back anymore

Your self-inflicted designs on your wrists are no longer enough

 

You confess your sins and say a quick prayer

You tell yourself it's better now than later

You empty the bottle

And with one huge gulp

 

You swallow your death

 

...Life was too hard...

 

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