Scattered

 My mouth is deceiving and I wish I couldn't move it

The purple matte lipstick on my lips matches my hair and they symbolize my mental

While I’m drowning, the water dilutes the sound

So I will not use my voice to communicate when I fall

The halls are closing in on me as I’m walking down them

The street is twisting around me like a wave when my feet hit the pavement

 The moments that seize us incite me

The moments that hold me wish that god had pitched a fishing line to my body and just kept reeling

I’m not going to let you add more weights to my body

 I will not change

But I might have a toxic taste

The mask over my face is unnecessary if I claim I am shameless

But my shame is seeping through the mask

And dripping down onto the floor

Whose puddle of shame does this belong to?

Describe yourself in one word

I’m scattered

I got my limb, my mind, and my heart

Floating 5 feet away from my body

I’m sorry to my mommy

 Because I don't know a damn thing about feelings

This poetry game is my boxing ring

I clench my pencil with my iron fist

And strike the paper like a bat and a ball

And rub lotion in the crack of the poems bones to make it run smoother

I’m tenaciously holding onto my life as if I’m hanging by a thread

 Because I am

I’m fighting so hard I’m like an animal foaming at the mouth

I’m sweeping broken pieces of me off the floor And I’m gluing myself back together

 I don't think you'd approve of the way I treat my rhyme lines

Because I don't share them and that somehow makes me an under dog

I was agnostic until I realized I’m my own dog spelt backwards

But do I truly believe that?

I let religion bang at my door

I broke the light so they don't know that I’m not home

Instead I sit in a ditch and let the flap of a dove bring me peace

And I undo my brains braid to try to understand myself

I ask “Why does a little poke to my heart make me keel over in pain?”

 I got my problems wrapped in a cigarette and I’m inhaling it

I'll let my cigarette burn to the filter so it can live its life to the fullest

How thoughtful am I?