Science and Existentialism

There once was a kid named Joe.

He didn’t know where he could go

Ms. Morgan made his life feel worthless,

He had an existential crisis,

When he found out his total displacement was zero.

Each morning he gets out of bed,

By accelerating his body and his head,

He eats breakfast in a short time,

If he was changing distance he’d get a fine

“Don’t miss your bus!” his mom always said.

The road to school was line,

They only had to go down the 409,

Though the way back was positive

The way there was negative

As both his displacement and mood had a minus sign.

His school was big and full of crowds

He’d have to twist and turn to get around

His velocity was constantly changing

As the shape of the crowd was rearranging,

And inside it was always very loud.

As he sat in class he was at rest,

It was hard to stay awake in Hernandez’s

The bell rang and he reached a final velocity

In meters per second it was 343,

His sonic boom disrupted every media center test.

School was finally done!

Joe thought as he broke into a run.

He accelerated toward the bus

Getting home was no fuss

The ride home was much more fun.

On the ride home, Joe thought

About tectonic plates a lot

He realized they moved

Including while he snoozed,

His crisis about zero displacement was for naught!

Besides, he travels a great distance every day,

But wait, didn’t Mrs. Brennan say

That according to Hess’s Law

The journey doesn’t matter at all,

Science just wasn’t Joe’s forte.