Sea

Can depression be so unwarranted?,
Like a tsunami unseen unheard,
It is deeper than any ocean,
Can this be real?,
Am I alive,
I feel cold,
Even though in my mind,
I do not believe in him,
God,
The word still creeps up on my lips,
If I can not save myself,
I will reach,
Clay,
For anything,
Even if I deem it unreal or imaginary,
I am sinking,
I go deeper into the almost black sea,
I feel the coarse sand stabbing into my back,
I do nothing,
I am not drowning,
I am content but not happy,
Unmoving,
I stare into the darkness of the blue,
It stares back with eyes I only know from broken mirrors,
And shattered memories,
In this moment,
When the sea stares back,
I feel my body and mind give up,
And slip away,
I have turned into black sea foam,

And now become the sea,
As always,
Since the very beginning