Searching

Love me, or let me be. That's what I tell myself, when in reality, it kills me not hearing from you. If I once meant the world to you, you couldn't have just walked away like that. I gave you all I had, hoping you'd stay, but it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. I'd kill the distance to get to you, but you would rather kill me heart instead. This wasn't love, at least not for you. Love is something that you would do the impossible for. Love is sacrifice. Love is Fragile. Love is kind. You may be my love, but I'm no longer yours. That last night together, when you held me close, and told me you loved me, I believed you. I believed your heart was true. I believed it with every single last bit of my heart, but here's the thing. You cannot just walk away from your heart. Not like you did. I had a crazy kind of love for you, but now I just feel crazy in hell. I feel broken, and I feel shattered. The fact that I wasn't enough, is enough. It's enough to shatter one's heart, and to shatter one's soul. I gave my soul away to you, when you had already given yours away a long time ago. I just wanted to make you happy, but you wanted to make yourself happy as well. This was not love. How can you live telling a lie. A lie to the one that you supposedly loved. A lie to the one who gave you every truth in their heart. A lie to the one who wanted to give you the world. You took everything. All I'm left with is an undelievered love letter. Everyone saw it except me. I thought we gave a mutual effort, how love should be. I sincerely thought that you were not aware of your wrong doings. I always had a feeling, but I believed you over my conscience. I gave my heart away, without given one back in return. I'm left feeling heartless and empty. Empty, with the though of you still engrained in my heart, and always in the back of my mind. You left me hoping that one day you might walk back through this door. But one day, becomes someday. And someday, becomes never. I just want my heart back, and maybe my soul if I'm lucky. After everything you've put me through, I still have the thought that this is how love is suppose to be. That love is suppose to be a fight, and love isn't suppose to be easy. But it was too easy for you to walk away, because this was not love. I really thought that I loved you. Until I realized that love is mutual, and you didn't love me back. This may have been a teenage kind of love, but not a true kind of love. I hold the hope that true love is out there. I will continue searching for the love my heart deserves. Somewhere and someday, I will find it.