A Season (S.A.D.)

Autumn

Is the season of fireworks in the trees

The tea time that never trully ends

Carpets of color layering the sidewalks

And plastic pumpkins by the door

Scarves and fleeces and boots

With that damn radio playing Christmas music WAY too early

Autumn

A season that often escapes me

My estranged friend

Who smiles and nods at me in the school hallways

But averts eyes and continues past

To leave me in the company of a dark-eyed stranger

Fall
Is the season of being on the edge of a cliff I can never back away from
The darkness that encroaches on the light ever earlier, too early!

And the low-hanging clouds herald it faster
Cold that creeps through my floorboards to seep into my chest
And grab my lungs and nerves to squeeze tighter, tighter
Treading black water and carving a smile on my mask
With “Migraine” on repeat cuz the silence in the room sings harmony with my screaming head

Fall
The sun will shine I go through the motions tell myself I'm okay
Then the day ends before it really begins

The dark starts to take shape
Whispers just at the edge of hearing
Feeling the hopelessness at the farthest edge of my senses
'Cuz I know what's coming
A heavy heaving mass forever hanging above my head
When that first brilliant red leaf fell
It pushed me out of the plane without a parachute
And rushing up to meet me I wish for solid ground
All I can see, filling my vision

The colossal black jaws opening as a chasm to snap me in

I fall into winter's oblivion

Where I wait for spring sun to shatter these chains

This poem is about: 
Me

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