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Secrets we keep.


I lay my head in the brokenness of my bed
To sit it and ponder all of the issues I see 
The tattered bruised and destroyed being I call me
Stand me up against the problems I face 
Just to watch myself  fall flat on my fate
Look at me cry the tears of my depression 
Fighting for freedom against the owner of my oppression 
He took away a big piece of me
Traded it for scars that will never be seen 
They ask for stories from a broken little girl 
About how she lost the bounce in her beautiful curls 
He opens her legs and forces himself in 
Ignoring her pleads for no more before he begins
She remembers the day he took her innocence
Now she lives in fear everyday because of this 
Somedays get easier but their still not great 
She'll always have the memories of the times she was raped
The girl with the curls cannot speak 
She fears he'll come back and render her weak
She writes it all down but will never share her stories
Her dreams, her nightmares, but mostly her worries
Yes it's all wrong but since then she's moved on 
She's found love and happiness
But never trust and forgiveness 
Lately it's gotten worse but no one will ever understand 
The lies she told to hide the pain inflicted by this man 
Everyone sees there is something going on 
But she tells them she's fine there is nothing wrong 
Really inside she's fighting a monster
A war made to keep the stress from consuming her
In the end she says she can handle it all on her own 
But in real life she really can't take this she's all alone 
The next day she gets high to diminish the pain
Now bowing her head lower because she feels ashamed
Can't focus in class because of the drugs she'd taken 
So instead she writes to herself about the problems she's facing 
As she rights she reminisces on the reasoning behind her decision
Next she cried to herself again about the sex without permission
Now is the time to let it all out 
About the times she screamed but still yelled ouch! 
Each time was different some more rough than the next
This young little girl still can't erase the sex
Wanting to run away from it, all her biggest fear
But she never looks back and lives to see another year
Look at her wrist you might see scars of rememberence 
Slices and cuts to help her see the way out of this
She's tired of the tears and the sounds from that day
Her friends not knowing just keep telling her to pray
Then she gets angry and she questions her faith
She asked them where was this god on that date
Where was he at when the man was there 
Oh yeah that's right it's obvious to her he doesn't care
They tell her to pray but that won't take it all away
It's too late now because she still sees him everyday
They wonder why she is so mean and savage
But get to know her and you'll see it's just the baggage 
Question her fate and you will see the only thing she is hiding is that she is me. 
 
 
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