See Nothing

Visions

 

Prophetic circumstance

 

Is this my future or that of another ?

 

Small moments at first.

 

Brief and irrelevant.

 

However time is not brief nor irrelevant.

 

My nighttime universe being clouded with fear and no longer belonging to me.

 

My life is no longer my own.

 

Foresight is a curse keeping me from the luxury of looking to the future.

 

Looking at it, a mirror of darkness and pain.

 

A future filled with sadness and lacking the hope I had lived to feel.

 

A vision,

 

The ultimate vision of sunshine and smiles matching the stars in the night sky.

 

My eyes are unseeing but my mind sees everything.

 

An endless torture leaving me unaware and vulnerable.

 

My visions become real overtaking my life.

 

Smothering it in a world not yet to be seen and not always certain.

 

The music in my heart has died out like a fire awake for to long.

 

Dying in sadness and despair and longing for that vision.

 

A field of flightless birds and still, silent creatures that have no heart and feel no compassion.

 

Emptiness and colorless images.

 

Shades of grey that taunt me with their deep void drawing me in unwillingly.

 

To see everything and then nothing at all leaves me in a world with nothing but loneliness and my heart bleeds in the silence.

 

A fire in the night leading into the day, not dying like my melody had.

 

When it ends, will I cease to exist as well?

 

If I can stop seeing will it bring back my sight.

 

Ending my torture to bring back the nonchalant obliviousness of the world around me,

 

Or stay aware of what is to come and live a silent death.

 

Never truly participating in the life around me.

 

I know it won't come,

 

That vision of shining smiles and a field full of life breathing into my nightime hell, making it beautiful again.

 

Making it a heavenly eden with grasses of emerald and an ocean of blue diamonds.

 

Wind carrying music to my soul and bringing me back to life.

 

I loathe myself for wanting that of which I can never have without immense suffering.

 

The future is meaningless to me.

 

I see nothing of importance.

 

The deep smog is heavy and lulls me back to the sleep I dread.

 

I escape time and time again,

 

Only to be pulled back with unforgiving force.

 

I just want to use my eyes.

 

To know what it is to truly see again.

 

Be apart of that flowing river that leads to unknown places and people of the strange.

 

I just want to see again.