Seeing is believing.They didn’

Seeing is believing.

They didn’t see me and him, but they saw me.

Never about, always enclosed in four walls painted pink. The four walls

                  Containing a bed, on which I’d lay from sun up to past midnight,

                  My lips constantly in motion;

Opening my eyes a little earlier than normal to select a cute outfit and to

                  Design my hair in a pretty-girl way;

Walking around the house in a sluggish and a tired way;

Constantly opening my mouth to my sister to say his name (secretly,

                  of course);

Keeping my feet in the same building we attend for school a little longer after

                  the bell rang to “talk to a teacher;”

Bringing myself to watch our school basketball games – which

                  I never used to watch;

Suddenly needing twice the number of things I would normally need;

Grabbing pens, pencils, markers, paints and drawing with brilliant colors.

I would throw all the colors on a plain white sheet of paper and draw my heart out;

I would sway back and forth in my room to the beat of the

                  Music late at night;

They would hear the loud arguing, along with the soft cries coming from my room often;

They noticed my eyes would be swollen baby tomato color when I walked downstairs.

They noticed me changing.

They didn’t, however, talk to me about what’s going on in my life.

They never thought I was changing for the best.

They didn’t like to hear how happy I became.

They didn’t pay any attention to the permanent smile plastered on my face, as if a sculptor sculpted a new face for me.

They judged him – they judged me.

And what did they end up doing?

Check my phone messages online.

Doom.

And after that the loud voices came,

And after that the phone went bye-bye,

And after that the never ending lectures came daily,

And after that out of the window went my mother’s trust in me,

And after that out of the window went my mother placing her

                  Back side next to mine on the couch to converse.

And after that came the rejection lecture: If I married or was

                  Involved with him I can no longer call myself apart of this family.

And after that came the words, “WHATS WRONG WITH BEING FRIENDS,”

Endlessly exiting her irritating and annoying mouth.

Anywhere she went boys and her daughter became

                  Her favorite subject.

To anyone she would tell them, “Watch her. Keep the boys

                  Away from her. She needs to study hard.”

She even had the nerve to tell the school receptionist.

She doesn’t even look at me the same way as she does with

                  my siblings.

With my sister she will sit on hours on end and laugh and giggle at funny jokes.

With my brother she will sit and watch movie after movie with him.

In her eyes I can see the appreciation, honor, pride she receives from my siblings, and

 I can see the rejection, shame, disappointment she receives from myself.

And why is she doing this?

She sees I’m happy.

Wow. What a mother.

She wants to break her daughter’s happiness

The same way her husband breaks hers everyday…