Self

May 1, 2018

Self-deprecation; I am too mean

Self-love; A girl can dream

Self-esteem; not even growing

Self-destruction; I'm slowly eroding

Self-harm; one wound just isn't enough

Self-hatred; there is far too much of this stuff

I have so much love in my heart for everyone around me, so how is there not enough love for me with each passing year?

Loving yourself isn't selfish, I hear, so what do I even have to fear

No matter how hard I try, when I see what I think is "normal," I am filled with jealousy

I try to like myself, but how can I when I am one of my worst enemies?

This hatred is alive, a thorn in my side and I don't see any sign of it waning

During the hardest of nights, all I can do is keep myself from fading

The battle that rages inside me is deadly

Even when things get better, the urge to hurt myself is beastly

I whisper, then scream at those evil voices to leave me

I tell them, "let me be who I want to be!"

I know that this isn't forever and I try to remind myself that life is a beautiful song

But even though I know this, time and I still struggle to get along

Even if I don't have hope in myself now, I have hope for the future

And there are so many people out there who think I am a treasure

When times are tough and I remember that someone up there is watching

I smile to myself and keep on walking

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