self-conflict.

it is you whose voice soothes my soul.

a rare feeling of pure serenity- with a little string of addiction that comes with it.

yet my heart no longer feels at peace; there is no longer unity within my mind & body.

every man that tries to win over my heart, ends up heart broken.

probably because I’m still heart broken.

kissing on other men, trying to find satisfaction; seeking that euphoria of love that I greatly desire-

but their lips were just convenient upon mine.

shamefully opening my eyes mid-kiss, hoping that you’d be there.

those men were an escape. a source of hope that I’d find a better love.

they never satisfied me- no matter how attractive, how smart, how caring, how successful.

they never compared to you.

it’s clear to me that there is no other love that I’d rather have than yours- but that isn’t the one I deserve.

this is the kind of pain that no human should have to endure in their lifetime.

falling deeply in love with the wrong person; it’s intellectually torturous.

your heart continuously aching; searching; needing that one person- while your rightful conscious tells you no.