Self-Deprecation

I hate how I'm no one's best friend

No one's first pick

I try so hard, maybe that's it

Still...

I hate how I'm gay

Depressed

Led myself astray

How could anyone ever me, when no one can ever handle me?

Everyone was right

This is 100% my fault

I did it all to myself

Yet, I try to stop

But nothing seems to help

I want so badly to give up

So, so much

But, like Shawn Mendes,

It just isn't in my blood

Why can't I get better

Or finally just give up?