Self Destruction

You'd be surprised how much of you
isnt really you

How much of you
belongs to someone else

How much of you
is fabricated
made
formed
changed

You'd be surprised how much of you
is broken

How much of you
makes you a ruined being

How much of you
is warped
twisted
bent
corroded

I look back on myself
and see my efforts to change

For others
For me

but all i see now is a trail of self destruction
ruining myself
in search of things

Love
Acceptance
Security

Am I really all that I say that I am?
Or am I some demented form of what I could only wish to be
Have my actions healed me, and succeeded in making me better?
Or am i just on the brink

of Self Destruction