Self Harm Is Anxiety
Cuts, Scraps, Bruises, cover my body
It’s a hobby
Scars on my legs,
Arms,
Thighs,
They cover me
I can’t come up with a plea
A desire to escape this madness
The scars like the bumpy bark of a tree
I am overwhelmed with darkness
Unable to escape the murky forest
Day after Day
Night after night
I exist in a poisonous mist
The twigs pierce my brittle skin
As I tumble over them dragging myself on this narrow course
The twigs are thick, not thin
They have no remorse
Everything seems harder
Work
Chores
School
Everything
I am unable to continue
I don’t have acceptance
I don’t have happiness
I don’t have independence
All I have is emptiness
Why me
Why am I filled with burden?
Why am I nothing but a mistake?
Why do I continue hurting?
Why can’t I have just one single break?
I think about:
Have I ever been okay?
Have I done what is needed of me?
Can I continue through the day?
I could stand here and say,
“None of this is true”
But I would be lying to you
As time passes,
I don’t experience hope
All I have to do is pick up that blade
All I have to do is pick up that rope
The world starts to fade
My body starts to ache
My hands start to shake
Everything’s at stake
I am trapped in a sinister room
Bars covering my windows
Nothing with bloom
There are people in the audience today
Whispering to each other
“Keep your distance”
Or “Run for cover”
Sure to cause me dismay
You can judge
You can even stare
If you do, I won’t budge
Because I honestly don’t care
But let me say this
If you stab me in the back
I will still walk around with bliss
I will have pride
I will survive these dark paths
I won’t listen to these lies
I won’t be the one that dies
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