Self-Inflicted Heartbreak

The moment i saw you my fuse was lit

You were a burning desire in me

One laced with naïveté and first loves

I wish I could tell you that is enough

Circumstance granted us time to fall

Into your eyes I took a swan dive

Sometimes I wake up in the ocean of your iris

Waves of tender feeling roll through me

You held my hand and tectonic plates shifted

You kissed my cheek and heavy weights lifted

You awakened my heart to see love that existed

I wish I'd been strong enough to stay there

Now you

You bubble up in my dreams with blinding accuracy

You turn your head as I walk by as an ice cold reality

You spend nights wondering why I was too weak

Why I wasn't strong enough

To give our story a chance 

Perhaps if we had one last dance..

Oh how I'd twirl if your arms were the branch

Out to me I'd fall out of a tree to be with you again

But not today, and never tomorrow

Our breaths will not mingle and for that I live in sorrow

A shadow fear planted that my silliness granted

And now I'm away from my roots

I once thought this wound was fatal but no ''tis worse

It's the pain and suffering of love murdered that makes me burst

No time and no trial can take away the sting

Of empty what ifs caused by fear and thinking

Confusion sweeps through me oh demons delight

I lie awake sobbing for you to save me every night

Innocence long gone

We never even had a song

Melancholy strings are my rhythm 

But you darling 

Remember me

As selfish as that may be

I'll love you three trips around the moon

And back and back and back again