self medicate

self medicate
until I can no longer enunciate
my name
until I cannot separate myself
from you
until I asphyxiate on the words
that fall
from your mouth
words that fall
like feathers
and land on my tongue
like lead
I choke on each letter
like a pill I cannot swallow
and you won't offer me water
self medicate
so I can clear your heavy words from
my stomach
where they intoxicate
my body
and I contemplate
if you are truly worth the wait
but for now
I self medicate