Self Pity

At times I fight my uncontrollable mind that's wise but I don't think on time so I just collect all the words that fall down, but when it's coming around I need to hold sounds like I can't think when I talk I just say I'm out of track and when I fail sometimes I wish I could be something else, sometimes I give it up before I could live it up and then act like there was no life I could see , I can't even be. It's complicated.

All my has life it been the same and nobody cares at all.

Sometimes I follow my mind when it takes control. I try to recreate old memories because I can't let them go and when I finally lost it I still can't understand why I look for toxic. I think if I can't find good in evil there is no hope for my right mind.

It's coming about but sometimes it's easier to shout. Sometimes I will tell if I shouldn't and show off what I couldn't. Sometimes I tell no facts then act like I do but I can't bring it back, and sometimes I talk when I'm glad but then I think back on when I said something bad because happiness I can't trust. It's complicated

I'm I ready to grow up. Am my ready to go on and show what I got when I got it self pity. Is this self pity? Why do I self -pity when I overthink? Why do I self pity when nobody ever care for me? Can negative thoughts stop on your own even when everybody enjoy all your falls?