self worth

As she looks at herself in the mirror she sees the profile of a young woman tired, frustrated and ignored. She washes her face gently scrubbing as she doesn’t want to scar herself more then she is. Soap and water. She loves the pain it causes. Using the soap and water as an excuse to let her tears fall, no one will judge her as she silently cries. She hears the bang on the bathroom. Blanking and ignoring what is on the other side. She quickly wipes her face. Walking alone, roaming the roads thinking. Nobody acknowledges her appearance, opinions or even feelings. She wears light colors, smiles to the world so that they think that everything is ok. Not wanting the world to know how worthless she feels or how much attention she needs. She wouldn’t harm herself understanding how important it is to live another day. Thinking about how it would feel to pick up a blade and run it across her wrist, or even taking a burning cigarette and placing it on her body. How the stinging would feel but she’s smart, she knows that harming herself won’t get rid of the pain. On the other hand, what do tell a father that is so busy working and drinking his life away that he doesn’t worry about anything that surrounds him? A mother that all her life struggled to make her family strong and loving. That has reached a point of exhaustion that can’t stand seeing her husband because of his potent smell of liquor. A sister that is so jealous of you that belittles you just to make you feel worthless and nothing next to her. Your best friend, what do you do when all she does is pout and point out everywhere you mess up? She gets to the point where she can’t take it anymore and all she wants is to scream it to the world. WHY CANT I BE PERFECT? WHY CANT ANYBODY ACKNOWLEDGE MY ENTIRE STRUGGLE? WHY DO I TRY SO HARD AND FEEL LIKE I GET NOWHERE? WHY? ……. WHY?...... WHY?.... She may never understand why people think of her the way they do. And may never realize how important self worth is or even realize that she will always be on her own. But, She’s strong, a fighter, intelligent, beautiful, and worth much more than she realizes. Can she ever accept that that she that is being written about is ME and that all I need is realize everything expressed may never change. I just have to be the fighter and love it just the way it is.