A Series of Open Letters to Misogynists

Dear misogynists,

Let’s be very clear here.
Boys are not jerks by nature.
It’s not in their genetic makeup to automatically be mean-spirited or cruel.
Being born male does not predispose anyone to being the kind of person whose hands make a welcome mat of my hipbones,
who licks his lips as if looking at an appetizer,
whose breath laced with tequila, privilege, and desperation slurs "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth, baby?" at me from the other side of the street.
Genetics does not do that. Society does.

Dear misogynists,

It is the reason I know Title IX better than my own social security number.
It is the reason I have to clench my keys in white-knuckled fists as I walk home from school.
It is the reason I avoid eye contact at all costs because that "counts as permission."
It is the reason women all over this goddamn planet get asked "Well... What were you wearing?"
because apparently, my outfit speaks louder than my voice,
but you must not have met me because I can be pretty loud.

Dear misogynists,

It is the reason I am told "You know boys won't like you if you don't stop with that feminist crap."
Who asked you?
If you think that passionately wanting equality and not being afraid to voice that is "crap," I don't want you to like me anyway;
As a matter of fact, I want you as far away from my rights as possible.

Dear misogynists,

You know, maybe you're right -
"locker room talk" is as American as baseball, or apple pie, or roofies.
"How could he possibly help himself? If he saw you in that dress, what was he supposed to do? NOT assume you wanted him??"
YES.
That's exactly what he was supposed to do:
NOT assume I wanted him, or anyone else in the room for that matter.
Stop excusing sexual harassment because "boys will be boys;"
my skirt is not an invitation,
nor is anything but the sober word "yes" -
and I include the word "sober" because yes,
it does make a difference.

Dear misogynists,

So no. Boys are not all jerks.
And no. I won't stop with "that feminist crap."
And no. Boys will not be boys. Boys will be held accountable for their actions, just like everybody else.
And yes. I do kiss my mother with this mouth, but you can keep dreaming.

Signed, a Feminist