seventeen

being seventeen is a vacant endless hole of questions you’ll never be able to answer,

the realization that you are going to disappoint almost everyone who matters you, including yourself

and the start of a giant tear in your heart

it’s apathetic and merciless

ripping away anything that was once yours

including your friends family and grades

ignoring the sounds of your legion cries and shoves a pillow over it’s ears

it’s pessimistic and judgmental

that little voice in your head saying you don’t matter

getting louder and louder after each mistake you make

being paralyzed with fear during any thought of the future

a constant weight on your back though you try to carry others

it’s boundless and full of depth like the ocean

but you’re 100 miles away from shore and you can’t swim

it dropped you in the middle and told you to figure it out yourself

you scream out for help but no one really hears you

they’re only looking out for themselves and maybe it’s because they’re 17 too

it’s controlling and possessive

grabbing the wheel at any point in time and starts driving in the wrong lane

heading towards an ongoing car before getting out of the way at the second

it laughs in your face when you begin to sob

It’s a morning person,

energetic and ready to go at 5 am

you beg for another hour to sleep

but it pulls you out of the bed with a camera shoved in your face

you try and cover up the bags with makeup

but it doesn't matter because you know you’re tired

it’s cold and lonely,

the realization that you are alone but the inability to get comfortable in your own solitude.

being seventeen might not be the problem

it’s not your age that made you that way

it’s the school system

that has the first class of the day

starting at seven

and a test that determines your whole future

and the expectation

that you’ll know what you’re gonna do

with the rest of your life

at seventeen.

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My community
Our world

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