Severmenothing

I have lost the meaning  ! , I am numb with no feeling !,... these images can't be real, the one's I'm seeing .....always and all the time! these thoughts they aren't mine!!!!! will these voices go away? !!!! I think I muffle them today !, one clench of my finger will blow them away !....... But......  this body will remain......,  am I really insane? I can't f****** hold it ,I can't ******* maintain.....! , I'm to calm to the sound of death ,too ecstatic to the purpose,.....  my scars have finally reached the surface, all out now for me to show ,nowhere for me to go ,same story since long ago ,touch these scars and Wonder why my hatred will forever grow!!!! where the f*** did I go? I don't even f****** know ,..... every word takes on new meaning, everything is nothing and nothing is every God damn thing !!!!! .......Love Is A Lie , to lie means to love!!! nothing below is now everything above, and pain is a glove , to hug means to shove !!!! any affection is an infliction ! any feeling is an infection ! my acclamation surrounded in seclusion!!!! I can't figure it out its 2 f****** confusing , ...... voices always testing ,at least I'm guessing, always infected ! something's missing !!!!!!.. where did I go? do I even want to know ? continuing hate from Within will forever grow !!!!!! will my eyes Hear My Cries? I need the release or I need to stop , decrease from myself till finally I become deceased! many other ways to live , so many other things to give!., a flesh wound that needs to breathe! , the self-infliction that needed to be ! what the hell is on?, where am I ?!.. the one I used to call me? .... thoughts are cloudy blinding my vision hard to see with dried up eyes .....conflicts of living in other people's lies ,...... why was I given so many tries? .... only myself with me to sympathize ...... brown weathered flesh under my eyes remnants of years past in tears, I am forever stained , nothing to hold not a goddamn thing gained! but everything and nothing has changed ,...... I cut myself to bleed ! just something I need ! pain my only greed! death I must proceed ! I'll wait right here for me, while I leave ....... haven't smiled in a over a while ! the infection of being on trial..... no infliction from those that lie!!!!! I have cut myself and didn't die ! ...... God why not !? .... I'm f****** asking you why?..... my near escape from this life I've been blessed with, this this Empire of s*** , stack it up on high ! because it is all that I get!!!..... I don't think I can fall again , give my lie and infliction another , nothing to lose why bother, ? I just keep fading farther ! the arguments in my head they're getting louder and harder ! all that once meant something now means nothing! ... but isn't nothing something when everything is gone ? and nothing is now everything !!! my everything, my nothing, myself being,, same thing, or in between ,sever me nothing!!!!!!