Shattering the Box

Sat, 04/09/2016 - 22:18 -- livnluv

My mind's been in a box, it's a comfortable place,It's got movies and posters and books on display.Like a cathedral this place is my sanctuary,Like a bunker this place is my fortress. When trouble rises I jump inside And say "no, no world I'll stay to the side.I'm not significant or special, you don't need me at allI'll just stay in here and put up my wall." It keeps the world out and I can hide from my problems, But my fears still lurk in the corners. Yeah the brightness shines at the center of it allBut the vines of lies that terrorize my mind begin to grow and take up the wallsBetween point A and point C is point B where the goodness leavesWhere the light turns to dark, and so begins this disease. As the fears and anxiety infect my mindLike some beastly creature they eat me alive.Those movies and posters and books on display Become simple excuses to always stay.I start to grasp for anything to hold tightI crave for control of something in life. Counting distracts from the moment I'm inJust the way OCD does and living in sin. I drown in my worries, I fall from my faithMy perfected box is closing in space. The paradise begins to rot the longer I stay inside,And the fears that make me want to escape are the reasons I chose to hide.No one cares, you're alone, and you'll never fit inYou're a coward, a loser, a lieI'm so scared of judgement I hide who I amPeople won't understand so I don't let them inThe clouds of dust that surround my visionAre my worries and critiques that keep me from livingLike Quasimodo I'm trapped in a tower with my own stupid fears being my Frollo and masterThat lock me up inside my own head while I want to live free and live life without fretYou're weird, you're not pretty, no one likes you they say But then there's that voice, that says "hey, you're okay." A single flower in my garden of weedsA light in the fog that I desire to reachA way out of the rubble from the walls that fellA voice of truth that rings clear like a bell To come out of my box into a better placeWhere I let people in and live life unafraidMy holy book says the words "do not fear"For it is God alone who will catch every year"The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid"These words come through clouds like a beckoning rayThese are the words to which I should listenCause in the box it was truth that I was really missing If I'm strange then I'm for itCause life's more interesting that wayLife will never be perfect, life won't always be greatBut there are those moments in life so perfect in taste.I don't need to be perky or flawlessly rightI just want to be content with this simple life. I've said no to everything because of fear and self doubtBut aren't new experiences what life's all about?Fly a kite, shoot a gun (not for death but for fun),Drive stick, climb mountains, and travel near and far.Instead of cowering in fear, rather than staying shut insideI want to dance in the waters life has to provide. Now the sun starts to set on my box I called Eden,But it was just an excuse to live life without feelings.A new sun rises on a future untold,I'm going to live, dream, breathe like never before.So to those with anxiety and those who do not, don't let fear and worry be the reason you rot.

 

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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