Shattering the Box
My mind's been in a box, it's a comfortable place,
It's got movies and posters and books on display.
Like a cathedral this place is my sanctuary,
Like a bunker this place is my fortress.
When trouble rises I jump inside
And say "no, no world I'll stay to the side.
I'm not significant or special, you don't need me at all
I'll just stay in here and put up my wall."
It keeps the world out and I can hide from my problems,
But my fears still lurk in the corners.
Yeah the brightness shines at the center of it all
But the vines of lies that terrorize my mind begin to grow and take up the walls
Between point A and point C is point B where the goodness leaves
Where the light turns to dark, and so begins this disease.
As the fears and anxiety infect my mind
Like some beastly creature they eat me alive.
Those movies and posters and books on display
Become simple excuses to always stay.
I start to grasp for anything to hold tight
I crave for control of something in life.
Counting distracts from the moment I'm in
Just the way OCD does and living in sin.
I drown in my worries, I fall from my faith
My perfected box is closing in space.
The paradise begins to rot the longer I stay inside,
And the fears that make me want to escape are the reasons I chose to hide.
No one cares, you're alone, and you'll never fit in
You're a coward, a loser, a lie
I'm so scared of judgement I hide who I am
People won't understand so I don't let them in
The clouds of dust that surround my vision
Are my worries and critiques that keep me from living
Like Quasimodo I'm trapped in a tower with my own stupid fears being my Frollo and master
That lock me up inside my own head while I want to live free and live life without fret
You're weird, you're not pretty, no one likes you they say
But then there's that voice, that says "hey, you're okay."
A single flower in my garden of weeds
A light in the fog that I desire to reach
A way out of the rubble from the walls that fell
A voice of truth that rings clear like a bell
To come out of my box into a better place
Where I let people in and live life unafraid
My holy book says the words "do not fear"
For it is God alone who will catch every year
"The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid"
These words come through clouds like a beckoning ray
These are the words to which I should listen
Cause in the box it was truth that I was really missing
If I'm strange then I'm for it
Cause life's more interesting that way
Life will never be perfect, life won't always be great
But there are those moments in life so perfect in taste.
I don't need to be perky or flawlessly right
I just want to be content with this simple life.
I've said no to everything because of fear and self doubt
But aren't new experiences what life's all about?
Fly a kite, shoot a gun (not for death but for fun),
Drive stick, climb mountains, and travel near and far.
Instead of cowering in fear, rather than staying shut inside
I want to dance in the waters life has to provide.
Now the sun starts to set on my box I called Eden,
But it was just an excuse to live life without feelings.
A new sun rises on a future untold,
I'm going to live, dream, breathe like never before.
So to those with anxiety and those who do not, don't let fear and worry be the reason you rot.
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