She Doesnt Know What She Deserves

May 7, 2013

She doesn't know what she deserves, So she sits self-conserved, As she racks her nerves, And uses sweet smiles and soft words for courage, To hide life's turns and curves that burn and hurt, And she looks to the rising sun with her goals in sight, And even though the pain hurts she stands strong like she's alright, But when long days end, she cries at night, As she tries to fight, That is, Fight reality, Because the pretty smiles and giggles are just a formality, To fight the tragedies and gravities of her situation, And her indignation, And her hatred, Caused by unchecked abuse and child molestation, And when she thinks about her soft heart starts breaking, As she remembers when men came into her room possessed by Satan, As the took advantage of her body as her innocence was taken, And it fills her with hatred, And she wishes she could take it and break it and destroy the forces that made it, Because she feels abused and degraded, As she haunted by her nightmares and night terrors like a mental enslavement, She tries to shake it but her pain is infinite, And now at 17 she still can't be intimate, Because every man she gets close to brings her cursed remembrance, Of the night the pretty brown haired girl lost her innocence, She tries to change her countenance to mask her past, But even when she's alone she still feels harassed, It was a terrible, unbearable damned experience, And everyone knows but her family acts delirious, She says she forgave her uncles but I know she can't be serious, Because I know that she tries, and I know that she lies, Because when I look in her eyes and she thinks about them all she can do is despise, Listen up girl, I know your heart is scarred and forgiveness is hard, But your too beautiful to have hatred locked in your heart, You can move on, I know that you can, And if you ever doubt yourself you can reach for my hand She doesn't know what she deserves, And he just wants her for her slim figure and her beauty and curves, But when will she learn, love is supposed to heal not damage and burn, Plus he lies and he cheats and his lips speak deceit And she just sits back and believes, And she can't seem to leave, Because she feels the need to be with him no matter how much her heart bleeds, She deserves better is what she doesn't know, He never makes up his mind and he comes and he goes, Cuz he knows deep down she doesn't wanna let go, He shows her no attention, Then texts her a week later looking for redemption, He plays her like a clown, Doesn't wanna be her man yet he keeps her around, He knows he's got her around her finger just because he's older, And he's never around when her flowing tears need a shoulder, To me he's an obstacle, nothing more than a boulder, She needs to move on and just tell him it's over, Because she's gorgeous from her head to her toes, Keeps herself up nice and always wears nice clothes, And she always smells like a rose, She's a hard thinker and she speaks intelligent, And disregards irrelevance, And is determined to succeed like she knows that it's definite, She goes to work everyday and she always stays strong, Walking through my campus with her high heels on, She's got it going on and she deserves the best, And she's a great person and to know her I'm blessed, She's one of my riders and I always got her back, And if she needs a shoulder to cry on, Then she knows where I'm at

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SIMbolic

My name is Simeon Carson and I am 20 years old. I was born in Harbor City, California and received the majority of my upbringing in Compton, California. I graduated from Dominguez High School in June of 2011. My role models are Huey P. Newton, 2pac Shakur and Malcolm X. Since my adolescence, I have been fascinated with the English language and wordplay. Since words were and still are my forte' I've spent countless hours studying the dictionary and literature beyond school. At the age of 8, I was regarded as prodigy because of the advanced English skills I had developed. I had honed and refined my skills near perfection, but I was not satisfied; I decided to find a creative outlet to showcase my talents so I took up poetry as a hobby. Year after year I gradually improved until I had become a prominent poet in my neighborhood. Growing up in the Compton, which was known for various rappers such as N.W.A. and Ice Cube, I was exposed to the urban hip-hop culture and I also took up rapping as a hobby. When I reached the high school level I had decided I wanted to be a lawyer and eventually a politician. I always had a passion to lead so I became involved in organizations such as the Black Student Union and Associated Student Body in High School. After a year of dedicated service to both organizations, I was elected Senior Class Vice President and the Black Student Union President. The B.S.U. encouraged me to study history and analyze my surroundings. As a result I developed a radical critical consciousness. It became evident in my poetry that I was becoming more aware of my surroundings. I took notice of how modern hip hop pollutes the mind of the youth and I stopped rapping completely and focused on my poetry.After meeting the urban spoken word artist Food4Thot I decided wanted to combine hip hop and poetry so I became a spoken word artist as well. As of September 2012, I have served as the resident poet for 90.7 fm's Tuesday night political talk show, Beautiful Struggle. I have also made appearances on New Era Radio and as a teacher for the Occupy LA movement, I love poetry and hip hop equally, so I decided to use my talents to educate the misguided youth of my generation. The subject matter of my poetry now reflects serious political and world issues such as racism, child molestation, capital punishment and a majority of other controversial issues. There is nothing more satisfying to me than being able to do what I love and help people at the same time. I rhyme for the people.

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