She Was-I'm Not

I wish I could remember Everything about her No one saw it then, But I see beauty in her now So confident as a child Radiating -naively- But still radiating In a different way than the stars In a brighter way than the moon But adolescence was rough to her Slapped her happiness with insults Bent her over and made her like everyone else But she was so beautiful then What I am now Is just a product of their cruel intentions What I am now Is dull to the point of sickening What I am now Is a sequence of terrible decisions For that girl died And I bring her to life in my quiet thoughts Hoping to get to know more about her But every time she comes back to me I fall to pieces I beg for forgiveness in between the sobs But she loathes me for befriending those sons of bitches I want to be her again badly But mistakes aren't easily mended sadly I just want to remember that girl Who never had a chance of living