Shedding of a Shell

Shedding of a Shell Smeared like pencil shavings on paper, You cant look at the details because of the smugging. Life has pasted you by. As you reign on me no more, Do you no longer see the joys in life? Where belittling your kin holds no wrongful morality on you? How an immaturity grew from you like that of a conning parasite. You've grown, cold. Decided that the warmth of your offspring, Was lesser than your own desired lusts for your heat in the brutally freezing winters of this world. Your alternate shadow gone with the darkness you've sprung with over-taking laughable holy light. You can no longer see a reflection of yourself in me. I do not shine your light back. Like a black hole in space. Empty of your light. I'm different, And will never grow in to the characteristics of you that you've displayed so openly. Take your arrogance else where. It's not welcome on my life's doormat. For divinity holds no true form here. To the disheartened man you've claimed me to be. I know not of your years before but you know nothing of my compassion. And sadly so... My struggles The years I've spent pondering how and where you were. Feeling lost. Having to teach myself everything because of you. And how bad I really missed you but couldn't stand your intolerance. You are too close to the forest to see the trees. How you always forced your wars and bullshit beliefs onto me. How truly selfish you are. And how everything always appeared with ulterior motives. You contradict your own ideals. Hypocrite! How I was never good enough. What I did, never enough, Never fucking enough. More of me asked with each phone call. But yet in its own way. You indirectly had me obtain the greatest lessons you've taught me. How not to be like.. Experience. An open mind you once spoke of in these visions of my youth, And with it to explore many ideas and never disregard knowledge. A true keep sake passed down from you. One that I am ever so grateful for. But then to deny me such liberty And with childish fairy tales that match magic beans and golden eggs. And how you truly never understood the words you mutter from your deceiving mouth And how you couldn't even hear it with your own tone deft ears. How have you lost your grasp on what's good in this world? How have you lost your grasp on us? For faith is there for you no? The son and holy ghost will make it better of course. Our martyrs for the "sins" we commit. They will correct it all. Is acceptance over your actions that difficult? And you've always been so boastful about them. Where are they for you now? Have they ever been? I've never seen them, touched them, smelt them, heard them, Or had the pleasure to taste the bliss they grant everyone. Will I only understand stuck behind four concrete walls? Iconic. Ironic. And deny the respect of blood but yet demand it so unjust like. As if inherited and handed down from father to son for their obedience like a ranking system. A tyrant you've instead become. And the father in you faded with the abyssal mists of time. As we shed of the snake skin and crack open the doves egg, We form new shadows to live harmonically in. Adapt for tomorrow. And be rid of your recycled thoughts and lectures. The past is the past. Learn to live not being good enough anymore, But to be me, whole heartedly instead. When serpents exchange with doves. You get rebellion. A rebellion not in anarchy. But with a clash of wanting equality. To treat one another with kindness. For I am no longer the childish insecure boy that you view and insultingly stated me as. I never was. I am a man. A man who will live on with or without your voice. A better man than you will ever appear to be. Or how about, Just a simple...mortal man. A boy who used to crave your acceptance. But no longer yearning for that thought. It deceased along with our relationship long ago.. And now more along the lines of disgust.. Treated so vile like.. I'll continue without your input, I will gracefully walk the paths I've chose to pace myself upon. And change direction against your winds. When I want to and where I want to explore. For I have learned to live in the shadows. And I see you've steered far from paths fork.