A Shell

February 9, 2022

Whoever hears me

During the night

I'm sorry

I'm sorry you've had to hear my

Crying as tears well in my eyes

My laughter as it bursts through these lips

My screaming as I try to convince myself

That I am good enough

Better than the demons running laps

Around my mind

I'm sorry you have to watch my youth sink away and elderness come upon me,

slipping around my arms like well worn coat

I'm sorry you have to watch my mental state deteriorate as I try to remember my name.

It's Amber, by the way

My name is Amber,

A beautiful golden color that can brighten up any day...

I'm sorry, whoever's listening or reading this

I tend to ramble when I'm nervous

And wring my hands as if I'm washing them,

But they're always dry,

I get too loud when it needs to be quiet

And I just don't apologize enough

Or maybe I apologise too much

Is that even heal-

Whoever is hearing this, listen to me don't just hear

Because I'm tired of just being heard, just being pushed away,

So much so, I crave attention in all the wrong places

In the grooves of a toxic man's hand

In the heartbeat of a woman much stronger than mine

If you'd just listen maybe I could calm down for a minute,

Have a safe haven to confide in.

Whoever's hearing this, whoever's listening,

I'm sorry.

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