A Shell of What Was

The door slams shut;

and inside, I am a shell. I have learned to not be here in these times, I’ve found it’s much more pleasant inside myself for the moment, where words can’t hurt me. My shield can only protect me from the physical- oh and he does. My best friend knows that inside myself I’m safe, though they’re all worried for my sanity and don’t know how long I can deal with myself. Nothing you can do- no words, no objects thrown, nothing- can penetrate this shell, this already emptiness. There’s nothing left to damage.

The door creaks opens;

In the clearing smoke, I see opportunity. At first, I crawl because there’s something in the distance I haven’t seen before. I see a chance to better myself, to make something of this hollow cocoon I call life; where all my predecessors have failed I have a chance to succeed. and so I run. And when my legs grow tired, I only push more. I sprint. and when my lungs threaten me, I only breathe in deeper. Tangible salvation lies ahead, in a way only I myself can apply it. And I want it; I need it like a child needs a mother- without this I’m only destined for failure.

The path winds ahead;

I’m not sure how much longer this will go on. I persevere, because it’s all I know how to do. One can only run for so long before they forget how to walk. Survival is a must, and the man soon resembled the primitive ape. I see the finish line, and I feel the boiling in my blood as I know I’ll reach this goal, this need to survive will be fulfilled. and I am better. I am healed.