She's Me

She's frail and delicate with large dosage of anxiety

She's weak mentally and physically

She's scared of what she can't see and what she doesn't know

She got sick and never knew how to bounce back

She tried running away from what had caught and left her long ago

Her bones show when she curls up to sleep

Her hair falls and becomes thin because of her malnourishment

Her weight drops everyday

Her mind is fixated on not dying when she's actually killing herself

Her cothes hang off of her like they're hanging off a hanger

She's me.

She's healed.

I am my own mentor because I was my own obstacle.

My weakness gave me stregnth.

I learned myself and evaluated my strongest suits and my weakest ones.

Taking that time to learn myself and slowly love myself made me happy.

Not the generic happy that society throws around, but I was happy.

I realized that I am one of kind... I'm a lottery winning worth infinity.

There's no one that equal up to me, or you, or anyone else in the world.

Not only was my weakest self  my mentor, but my future me is now in charge.

I look up to the woman I want to be. 

I look up to my future successful, happy self. 

Me being my own mentor is a blessing and a curse, but I'm okay with that.

Why?

In order to become successful, you have to fall in love with the process.

The process of getting a job, or a house, happiness, everything.

Im in love with high moments and I'm also in love with my lowest ones.

Cailen from the past, I thank you for building me up and making me strong.

Thank you for allowing me to see that I'm close minded and selfish.

Thank you for bringing me so low so I could sore so high.

Thank you for showing me who I don't want to be.

Cailen in the future, I thank you for keeping my head up.

Thank you for allowing me to see what I want in life and who I want to be.

Thank you for be diverse and flexible when I change my mind on what I want.

I can't wait to meet you, love.

Present Cailen, you've learned a lot. 

You will be successful, happy, and you will spread your love.

Thank you. 

No matter if its past Cailen, present Cailen, or future Cailen... She's me.